24.07.05 - 16:34

Disclaimer: This entry is about AIDS and reproductive health and contains some graphic sexual language. If this offends you, please feel free to skip this entry.

MAURITANIAN MYTH TWO: FIDELITY. ha. There are certainly some faithful wives and husbands, boyfriends and girlfriends. There is also a large percentage of people who aren't. But again, unfaithfulness is condemned by Islam. So why is this the case?

one. Men Are Animals. It has been explained to me that men literally have no control over their sexual impulses. If they are apart from their partners for, say, a week, they are compeled to search out another woman for sex. So, they take no responsibility for cheating - it's just biology!

Also, there reaches a point when a man "can't stop." If a woman says "yes" to a man, she has no right to say "no" later. My very dear and trusted friend informed me of this! "That's rape!" I told him. He just shrugged: "Well, she is responsible. She shouldn't have said 'yes' earlier on. She shouldn't have encouraged the guy."

(By the way, why aren't women sexual animals? Because most of them had their clitorises lopped off when they were little girls, so as to render them docile and faithful little wives. This little operation is usually performed with a razor blade- which is hopefully not reused. Of course, I try to talk to my friends about the dangers associated with this - tetanus, HIV, infections - and convince them of the stupidity and cruelty of doing this to little girls in the first place. And that it's simply not true that a woman with a clit is a woman sex-crazed. Unfortunately, my best argument for the last point there is "Look at me! I am not addicted to having sex and they haven't cut off my..." Hmmm. Not really a personal subject I care to introduce, in retrospect.)

two. Men are allowed four wives under Islam, anyway!

three. Men often travel to different towns, or even countries, for work, leaving their families behind.

Oh, and if a woman implies that her husband has cheated on her, he can beat her. Have a gander at this charming tale, which we were told during training:

After seven years in France, Mohammed comes home to his wife, Aicha. She asks him to take an HIV test. In response, her husband beats her for disrespect and his family disrespects her and calls her nasty names. She is powerless. Mohammed and Aicha have unprotected sex. (O, p.s., the concept of marital rape does not exist here. A man has the right to take his wife whenever he wants and however he wants.) Aicha has a baby, who dies of a mysterious illness. Then Mohammed gets sick and dies. Aicha learns that Mohammed has, in fact, given her HIV. When his family discovers this, they try to apologize to Aicha for treating her so badly. But she will have none of it: "You have murdered me [by allowing Mohammed to infect me] and I will never forgive you."

This story seems apocryphal, but I'm also fairly certain that it has happened. Many times.

I'll finish this essay thing in the next entry.

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