18.12.05 - 14:55

Here's the story of Rougee, another HIV+ woman who came into Espoir et Vie.

Rougee came into the office, sat down, and waited patiently for Aicha, the receptionist, to come back to her desk. She was a young woman with smooth skin the color of Nescafe and a simple, but neat, bou-bou. She gave only a sidelong glance to the white girl sitting near her, until I greeted her in Pulaar. Then, she smiled and greeted me effusively. We spoke in three broken languages as she tried to teach me more vocabulary words. We laughed quite a bit at my difficulty.

Aicha sat down, and the three of us laughed together light-heartedly. But eventually, we had to talk business. We had to talk about sickness, poverty, death, lies, rejection. The mood plunged, and Rougee told us her situation.

She is 26 years old (one year older than myself) with three children. She has just found out that she is HIV+. No one else knows. No one.

"Have youtold your husband?" Aicha asked.

"No."

"But do you... you know, have a relationship with him? Relations?"

Rougee looked a little lost, so I jumped in. "Sexual Relations. Sex."

She smiled shyly, bowed her head. "Yes."

"But he does not know?"

"No."

Aicha shook her head. "You must tell him. Maybe he will divorce you, but that is not the end of the world. You must tell him because if he does not know, maybe he will infect the children. And if he has sex with another girl, he must know to use protection. Otherwise, he will infect her!"

I expected Rougee to protest at this, to insist that her husband would not have extramarital sex, but she just nodded.

"Why do you not tell him?"

"I am afriad."

"Then go to the hospital and explain to the doctor that you are HIV+, but do not know how to tell your husband. Then bring your husband to the hospital and the doctor will tell him," Aicha commanded.

Rougee had a queer smile on her face, a mixture of unease, embarassment, sadness,... and, I thought, dishonesty. Because she said "all right. I will do this. It will be as you say."

But I think all three of us knew that she wouldn't. That she was too afraid. That she would continue having sex with her husband, maybe even have another child, because she feels that she has no choice if she is to survive.

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